I’m frequently amazed at the ingenious ways people come up with to become wealthy. Take the inventor of the Snuggie, for instance. Some guy in Maine got drunk, I’m guessing, and accidentally wore his fleece bathrobe backward and decided to call it a Snuggie. He made over $200 million from the idea. Genius. I've tried to think of similar ideas by wearing different clothing items backward, but somehow nothing seems to work. Wearing your hat reversed makes people think you are an idiot. Wearing your shirt backward makes people think you are a priest. Wearing your pajama bottoms backward just sends all kinds of wrong messages--especially if you have the kind with a flap in the back.
Although the sleeved blanket Snuggie idea was simple, some get-rich scams require a little more imagination. For instance, the man who came up with the sex addiction rehab clinic in Wickenburg, Arizona, called “The Meadows” really put some thought into it. The guy who runs it, Dr. Patrick Carnes, refers to it as a “boot camp” for sex addicts. I think he meant to say, “bootie camp” for rich jerks.
The sex addiction rehab program is called the “Gentle Path.” Not exactly “boot camp” sounding to me. People they treat are advised to stay there for the full 45-day treatment. The patients aren't allowed to have cell phones, computers, video games, novels, magazines, weapons, or access to the internet. The poor troubled souls just make due with horseback riding, a fitness center, a swimming pool, yoga classes, acupuncture treatments, tai chi, etc. all on a beautiful 35-acre facility with desert mountain views.
This place sounds like it would be a pretty good getaway for most people. However, only the cream of society can stay at this resort, as a 45-day stay costs $58,000. The latest to be treated at this high-priced getaway was Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. Past guests have been Elle Macpherson, Kate Moss, and Salena Gomez, to name a few. Sounds like just the kind of place Harvey Weinstein would like to hang out. He might already know some of the patients. They probably have a wing named after him.
According to their website “At the Meadows, our rehabilitation facility provides a safe, confidential and healing environment for sexual addiction treatment. Our expert treatment staff helps each client look at the core issues that caused the addiction to heal the underlying cause of the addiction. Our reputation is unmatched in the treatment of sexual disorders, and our positive client outcomes shape our legacy.”
I must hand it to Dr. Carnes, though, he came up with a program where he gets to hang out with A-list celebrities for 45 days, force them to realize what schmucks they are, and then charge them enough money to buy himself a new Porsche every month. Forget about Snuggies; this guy is the king of selling dumb-ass products. With the way things are going in the entertainment industry, news media, and politics Carnes is going to be wealthier than a Saudi prince by the end of the year.
Maybe I should get in on some of this action. For only $10,000 I’d get these oversexed creeps cured in a week. Never mind yoga therapy and looking at core issues, my treatment plan would only require a poster of a Victoria’s Secret model and a shock collar.
Heck. If they stay for the whole program, I’ll even throw in a Snuggie.
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